So today I guess I finally& really came out of looking at life from a little girls point of view because reality came and smacked me big time in the face.
Yeah, reality has come hit me before, but not too hard. For instance, reality hit me when i learned my grandpa had lung cancer. I cried, but then i thought to myself what the heck, why am i crying he’s not dead.
Today reality hit me hard. I feel as if a huge chunk of my heart broke off. yeah, that sounds cliche, but it’s so true. Why? because my grandpa took care of me and had a huge impact on who i am today. My parents were both poor and so they couldnt take care of me as a child, so my grandpa and grandma took me in. My grandpa was strong and awesome. He was the one who told me that i was always beautiful and that i’d grow up to be famous. He never listened to my grandma when she told him to not give me those coffee candys.
One of my fondest memories of him was when he broke a long piece of string with his bare hands. I was so in awe when i saw how strong he was. But, now looking at how weak and sick he is, it makes me feel as if those memories will fade away and that he was never the person who’s in my memories.
Getting back on track, Today my cousin facebooked me and told me to go be with my dad. I asked him what was wrong with my grandpa. He wouldnt tell me. So i had to be a big girl and ask my dad. My dad told me my grandpa couldnt talk.
To let you know, my grandpa became mentally ill when i was almost 11 or 12 and when he became sick, I was the only one who saw everything that happened. I was at church with my grandparents and my cousins. My parents and uncles and aunts went somewhere. My grandpa went to the bathroom. I was just chilling. I look up to see my grandpa walk out with his pants down to his ankles looking lost, terrified i asked my grandpa what was wrong. He didn’t say anything, i began crying. I looked around no one was there. I kept calling my parents. Eventually my grandma came and my cousins. we called the ambulance. they came. My grandpa was sick. He was no longer that strong grandpa anymore.
He needed help walking and help eating. He always ate ramen. Ramen was his most favorite food. At least i think so, he only ate ramen. So thats when i learned that he was a little bit sick. Summer of Junior year. my grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer, i went down to georgia, weak and sick looking, i knew that this was going to be the last time i’d ever see him. I ran towards him, he looked up with the most happiest smile ever on his face.
i dont even know what im writing.
anyways. while i was in georgia, he told me that he was going to live forever. But i knew that wasnt true and i knew that the time was coming quick. and that time is soon. really soon.
my grandpa can’t speak or walk or function properly.
Please keep my family and him in your prayers.
